Really?

Today as I was out shopping at the Daiso, it is like the dollar store but much better, I was walking around thinking about the past month.

Thinking about how the Lord spared my life. How he protected me. How he provided me with food, water and a place to sleep. How I was able to have friends to be with during all that went on. How he provided me with new friends when old friends left.

All I could think about is how thankful I am.

After I was finished I checked out and started to wrap my stuff. Here in Japan, they give you newspaper to wrap your breakables in. I don’t normally look at what is printed on the newspaper but, today I did. My heart felt ripped open all over again. It was pictures of Ishinomaki and Minamisanriku. Pictures of the devastation from the tsunami; people living in the shelters; caskets lined up in rows upon rows.

I was once again thankful all over again. But then, I started asking the Lord… why did you spare my life? Why was I not harmed? Why did I not lose anything? Why did you provide me with food, water and shelter?

Then it all comes back to…

Why did you send your Son to die for me? I am a sinner. I sin every day. I am not perfect. I am not worthy of Christ’s love.

Then I have to remember…

The answer: Because I love you.

One Month

One month ago, my life was forever changed.

March 11, 2011 will always be forever etched in my memory. The feeling that I was going to die. The thought of the world ending. Praying to God that if it was my time to go, that He would take me quickly. I remember the screaming coming from my coworkers. I remember the panic that shortly broke out.

One month later, my heart is still uneasy. Every time the earth shakes today, I feel nervous. A rush of panic flows over me.

Today I went to the doctor because I have been having some stomach issues. Well, I guess if I would have let it go any longer without medicine, I would have a stomach ulcer. The doctor said that it could be caused from too much acid in my stomach, but it is most likely my body’s way of telling me I’m super stressed out.

Stressed out from the earthquakes and all that has gone on around me in the past month. Stressed from having my life plan completely changed.

Some of you maybe asking, “Well then why are you still there?”

I am not leaving Japan. I know that God has me here. Lord willing, I will be healed of what is going on with my stomach. I need to pray for peace in my heart. Peace so every time there is an aftershock, I don’t stress out.

I ask that you pray for Japan. Pray for their hearts. Pray that they are able to heal. Pray that they would open their hearts to the Gospel. I also ask that you pray for my stomach situation. Pray for my heart as well… that I won’t freak out every time there is an aftershock.

I love all of you and I am so thankful for your friendship.

 

Selfishness

Today as I was walking to the subway station to see what was going on there, I was listening to my new Hillsong Aftermath CD.

It was a lovely walk to the station. The temperature was almost near perfect. The wind was blowing. People were out and about.

Lots of people were riding bikes and there were more cars than there have been in the past 2.5 weeks.

As I walked past people and had the music blaring in my ears, I felt selfish.

Selfish that I have this music about how Christ loves me. How He died on a cross for me. How I have freedom in His name.

Part of me wanted to turn the music off.

Part of me wanted to cry.

Part of me wanted to listen.

I kept on listening while I had tears running down my face. My heart hurts for the Japanese. I wish I knew Japanese so I could tell everyone that walked past me that Christ loves them.

Over the past 2.5 weeks my world has been rocked. I am just now letting my heart soak up the tragic events that have happened around me.

I praise the Lord every day that I am safe, have food and that I have security only in Him.

 

Heart Strings

The Lord knows my heart more so than I do.

Before the earthquake, I wrote a blog post about how I wasn’t excited about leaving Japan.

“I am not really that excited. Actually, the thought depresses me.”

Who knew that I would actually feel this way and that my life would be totally changed just a few days later.

If you read through my blog and all of the posts that I have, you will know that I LOVE Africa. She has a special place in my heart. She is amazing.

But, if you know me personally, you will know that Japan also holds a special place in my heart. That I have grown up with Japanese students in my home every summer. That I love the Japanese.

I have been doing a lot of praying lately. Praying for the next step in my life.

Stay in Japan? Go to America? What to do… what to do?

The more and more I think about leaving Japan, the more sad I get. Even now. The Japanese don’t know Christ. People don’t want to come to Japan because they aren’t poor and they aren’t dying of AIDS. They don’t look like they are in need. But, they are. They NEED Christ. They need to know Him. They need to know the love of Christ.

Materialism is taking over Japan. They have turned into work-a-holics. They have idols. They worship their ancestors.

With all of that being said…

I think that Christ might be changing my heart and calling me to stay in Japan. To learn the language, as hard as it is, and tell the Good News of Christ.

Will you pray with me about this decision? Pray that the Lord will move in the hearts of the Japanese. Pray that the Lord will give me a direct answer and make His way known.

Journaling

March 12, 2011

On this day we went and lined up for gas. We lined up for 3.5 hours to get 20 liters of gas. They were rationing already. They had a plan so that people would not run out of essential resources. If this happened in America or anywhere else in the world, there would not have been a nice line of cars on the side of the road waiting for gas. There would have been accidents or even riots. Japanese people are so kind and thoughtful.

We had a time of fellowship and the entire time the ground was shaking. I started crying because I was afraid for the first time. The Lord told me to not be afraid so there is nothing else to do but to listen to Him. I think that the reason why I was afraid is because I thought that I wasn’t going to get to see my family again and I was going to die in an earthquake here in Japan. They were still predicting a big earthquake after the major one we had just the day before. But, I listened to the Lord and He calmed my heart and fear.

I wanted to make a fire after fellowship so we got the stuff together. We came outside and were standing around the fire and then all of a sudden I turn around and the entire building behind me had power. PRAISE THE LORD. I had never been so excited to see lights.

The lights meant that I could heat up water in my electric pot. I could have heat in my apartment. I could plug the kerosene heater into the wall and have heat. Electricity is so amazing. I am so thankful for it.

March 13, 2011

On this day I went to the store to line up for food. I lined up with a few other people. I was told to just get whatever I could. I was in line for 3.5 hours as well. We thought that we could get as much food as we wanted but we ended up having to put food back. We were only able to get 12 vegetables. That was majorly sad.  We had a lot of people to feed.

On Sunday, Timothy’s dad came up to my school. He is the owner of a burger restaurant near the school. He donated all of the food in his store to our school. He said that it would be better for us to have it instead of his family.

Later on that day we had the opportunity to go over to the graphic design company that is affiliated with the school and take a shower. You better believe that I took a shower. It was THE coldest shower that I had ever taken in my life. My scalp was numb. BRRRRRRR.

When we were leaving the company, we were informed that we had the opportunity to go to Misawa Air Force base in Aomori. It is the northern part of Honshu, the island that I am on. I prayed about this opportunity and I called my mom and I told her that I was planning on staying. I felt that I needed to stay because I wanted to help out. Help out with the school and help out with the relief efforts that would take place around Sendai.

A lot of teachers decided that this was their time to go. They felt that it would be safer and they would be farther away from the nuclear situation in Fukushima. It was hard to see a lot of my friends go, not knowing when I would see them again.; if I would see them back in Sendai or sometime in America.

As I stayed behind, it has been great to get to know people who I wouldn’t normally hang out with. We have been doing a lot of sitting around but we are waiting for directions for what to do next.

____________________________________________________________________________

Well this is as far as I got to writing down daily accounts of what happened. Needless to say, I’m not a very good journal-er. I feel like I cannot remember all of the funny or awesome things that I was thankful for throughout the day. I seriously wish that I had someone to type my day-to-day accounts out in times like this. It would make publishing a book about my life much easier.

I am going to work on getting some blogs together about things that I used to take for granted before this natural disaster. Please bear with me if it takes a while to publish them all.

The Quake

11 days after the 9.0 magnitude earthquake hit Japan, I am just now getting around to blogging about it.

Everyone has been telling me to blog about my experience here in Japan during the worst earthquake that they have ever experienced.

I don’t know how I would put all of this into one blog post. I should have been blogging as the time went on but I didn’t have electricity and I don’t have internet except at certain places.

 

Friday March 11, 2011.

Walking to work was a normal day. I was walking to work with two identical envelopes in my hand. I had one from my mom and one from my Grandma T.

I started working and I went through and organized the cabinets in the office.  20 minutes later I would not know that all of my hard work and organizing would go down the drain or rather out of the cabinets and on the floor.

My friend’s phone started beeping and I asked what it was and she said that it was an earthquake. It was a normal earthquake and then it kept going. I dove under a desk and hit my shoulder really hard. I was looking around and everything was falling out of the cabinets and falling on the floor. The PA system fell off the shelf and on the floor. I looked up and Maegan was not under a desk. I grabbed her arm and pulled her under a desk with me. We were praying that the Lord would protect us and that if it was our time, that He would take us quickly.

People were screaming in our office. The desk was bouncing up and down. I could just hear terror and fear in the office.

After it calmed down we all ran out into the hall and were starting to run out of the door and Esther said that she didn’t know if we needed to go outside and then it started again. We ran out screaming and then it started to snow. We were freezing. A few brave souls ran back into the building to get our jackets. We didn’t know if we would see the building collapse right before our eyes or if it would stay standing.

People were crying and were so unnerved that they didn’t know what to do. I remained calm and I was very surprised. I always thought that I would be crying and unable to calm down. (If you know my fear of tornadoes, this would surprise you.)

I don’t know how long we stood outside. I remember going back into the building and looking at all of the minor damage that was caused by the earthquake. Wallpaper torn, speakers that had fallen off of the ceiling, cd players that had fallen off of the shelf, desks moved all around, water splashed out of the fish tank (the fish eventually died because there was no electricity to keep them warm), the oven had moved away from the wall by 8 inches or so and much more.

I cannot believe that all of that really happened. If this would have happened 1 hour before or 1 hour after, we would have had our little kids here at school. I praise Jesus every day that He knew the time of day to allow this earthquake to happen.

That night, we had brought all of our blankets to the school and camped out. I have been here at the school ever since.

None of this seems real. It seems like I am living in a dream. I know that all of this is possible because the Lord is good. He protects me. He takes care of me. He loves the people of Japan and I believe that this is a wake up call for all of the people in Japan. A wake up call for them to turn to Him. It is their time to love them.

 

Flushing Toilets

Living without running water has been a difficulty in a land full of technology.

Having to find water to use to pour down the toilet after you go to the bathroom… yah not so fun.

This might be a little TMI but this has been true these past couple of days:

If it’s yellow, let it mellow.

If it’s brown, flush it down.

If you have ever been an earthquake survivor or have had to live without water for a few days, you will understand.

I know that this is my first post since the earthquake but I honestly need time to process what all has happened. I have it all written out in a word document but I need to figure out what is okay to publish and how exactly to publish it.

Please bear with me in the moment of processing everything.

I have been so humbled throughout this whole experience. The Lord has stretched me and grown me so quickly in these past 9 days.

I love you all and I am so thankful for all of your continued support and prayers.

Earthquake!!

Well since I have not posted in a really long time… aka 10 days, I need to update you all on what has happened in my life here in Japan.

This past week I celebrated my birthday. It was a fun time of celebration but also kind of weird since I was not around my family. But, I had a fun time. My friend Logan, her birthday was the day after mine.

Since Logan and I and two other people all celebrate our birthdays in March, we went out/reserved an entire restaurant for our party on Friday. It was the best party ever!!! I had so much fun! Hamburgers, pizza, little sausages, salad, and french fries. HOLLA. It was good.

Logan and I also wanted to go out on Saturday night as well. We went to this place that had udon noodles. This was another game of charades. Trying to ask the girl what was the meat in the rice. We finally found out that it was chicken. We had a nice little meal. Then we decided to treat ourselves to Starbucks.

We sat in Starbucks for a good hour or so. We were doing some people watching. (It is even better here since they don’t know what we are saying. :] ) In the midst of people watching we were watching these guys but up some plastic wrap or something. Then there was a shaking noise/motion. I thought that the guy had dropped the huge roll of plastic wrap.

I was wrong.

Then the windows started shaking violently and everyone in Starbucks stop talking. It shook for about a good 45 seconds. I know that that does not sound like a very long time, but when the whole building and every where around you is moving, it is pretty scary/ cool. hehe.

The wind was blowing so hard too so it made it even more like a scary movie.

When we got back to my apartment, we found out that it was a 5.4 earthquake. Where I live it was only 4.

So, in the 5 almost 6 weeks that I have lived here, I have experienced a Tsunami and an Earthquake.

It is weird that I am already looking forward to my next earthquake?